My friend Caleb wrote a great piece on “friction design” — practical, grounded, and refreshingly free of guru energy. It’s one of those articles that sounds obvious until you notice how much of your day is quietly shaped by the path of least resistance.

You can read it here: Improve Your Life with Friction Design (Caleb) .

I agree with most of what he says, but I’d rename the enemy. For me, the real problem isn’t “friction.” It’s short-term useless satisfaction.

Short-term useless satisfaction is any activity that delivers immediate emotional relief without contributing to your long-term identity.

What It Looks Like (And Why It’s So Sticky)

Caleb’s point is that when something is easy — one tap away — it becomes a default. Social apps are the cleanest example: open, scroll, feel something, repeat.

The trap isn’t just that it’s easy. It’s that the reward is real in the moment (relief, stimulation, distraction), and useless in the long run. It doesn’t build anything. It doesn’t move your life. It just resets your emotional state for a few minutes.

Over time, that creates a very specific kind of dissatisfaction:

• You become more restless in silence
• You compare more, even when nothing is wrong
• You lose the ability to think in long arcs
• You feel “busy” but not fulfilled

The uncomfortable question underneath all of this is: are we avoiding stillness because we don’t like who we are without stimulation? Most of the time, I think the answer is yes.

The “Successful” Circle (And the Thing Nobody Says Out Loud)

I’m often around people who are considered “successful” in the conventional sense — hedge funds, big tech, brand-name companies, impressive titles. That context matters because it creates a constant background hum of comparison: who’s progressing faster, who’s earning more, who’s “winning.”

Here’s the surprising part: a lot of the people who look successful are chasing something else because their actual job makes them miserable. Not occasionally — consistently. And it’s more common than most people admit.

You can see it in small moments: the way someone talks about their job with a kind of deadness; the constant fantasizing about another role; the belief that happiness is one promotion away. They’re often chasing other people’s jobs — not because they truly want them, but because we humans are wired to compare and desire what we don’t have.

That’s why “short-term useless satisfaction” is so powerful. It doesn’t just distract you. It feeds comparison. It makes you want what you don’t even want.

Ironically, my definition of success is boring in the best way. To me, being successful isn’t working at a hedge fund or big tech. It’s:

• Having a good life
• Having interests that make you feel alive
• Having good friends
• Being aligned with what actually matters

What Actually Worked for Me

The single most effective practical change I made was installing AppBlocker — an app that blocks certain apps during the day, especially when I need focus or thinking time.

This did two things that willpower rarely does:

1. It made the default harder, so I stopped “checking” without noticing
2. It created real empty space — which is where the real work starts

Because once the easy escapes were gone, I couldn’t outsource my mood to a screen. I had to sit with myself long enough to ask questions I’d been postponing.

Some of the questions were blunt:

• Does it make sense to stay in a position of full comfort — where my job is secure and my life is good and busy — instead of challenging myself? Would I actually be happy?
• Does living in London make me toxic? Am I chasing my dreams, or am I trying to prove on LinkedIn that I can “make it”?
• Is it worth staying in London versus being closer to my closest friends and family in Italy — where I could have a good life, but maybe never afford a place of my own in a good area?

That’s the trade-off: the more you reduce short-term useless satisfaction, the more you’re forced into clarity. And clarity is not always comfortable.

Discomfort Is Necessary

There is no gain without pain — not as a motivational slogan, but as a description of reality.

We are still humans. Rejection will always sting the ego a bit. Awkward conversations will feel awkward. Uncertainty will feel heavy. But the more you practice staying present through discomfort, the less it controls you.

The real win — the thing I’m still pursuing — is getting to a place where you don’t care as much. Not in a numb way. In a free way. Where comparison stops being the operating system of your choices.

What I believe Actually Changes our Life

• Define the “useless satisfaction” you default to
• Raise the cost of accessing it (tools like AppBlocker help)
• Protect stillness long enough for honest self-talk to appear
• Choose discomfort deliberately — it’s where identity is built

If you design your environment so that the easy escapes aren’t always available, your attention stabilizes. The comparisons quiet down. You stop wanting random lives you saw online. You start wanting your own.

And to me, that’s what success looks like.